


Life Without You

by BugontheRug



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fairies, Happy Ending, M/M, Magic, Parallel Universes, Songfic, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:56:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BugontheRug/pseuds/BugontheRug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During a fight with fairies Derek gets hit by a spell that sends him to a universe where he has never met his pack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys this is my first fanfic and unbeta'd :)

**_Only need the light when it’s burning low_**

Derek lit the last candle and fell back onto his mattress. He watched the flickering candle light dance along the burnt walls. The smell of blood filled his nose and he let himself be dragged back to a moment not too long ago.

_He knew the moment Peter died. The light in his eyes faded, and his body went limp. The power of the alpha surged through Derek and he felt a snap. The last of his family, his pack, was gone._

Derek turned onto his side and pillowed his head on his arm. He stared at a flame and watched it blur as he allowed himself this moment to mourn. He was alone now. He cried for Paige and the blue of his eyes. He cried for the loss of his innocence taken by Kate. He cried for the guilt and loss of his family who burned in the fire. He cried for the loss of his sister. And he cried for Peter's blood on his hands.

Everyone he cared for is dead and all because of him. He felt the crushing force of his guilt settle in his stomach and turn to stone. His sobs echoed unheard throughout the house. As the light of the moon crept in through the window he let out a sorrowful howl.

As he was falling asleep, ghostly whispers and touches comforted him.

**_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_**

Snow caught in his eyelashes as Derek weaved his way through the sea of people. He returned to New York less than a week after Peter's death. There was nothing for him anymore in Beacon Hills. This snow flurry was just the prelude to a bigger storm that would be coming later that night. Derek shivered at the thought of going back to his drafty apartment to sit on his own as the wind howled outside.

He entered the warmth of his favorite coffee shop and let the smells wrap around him in a warm embrace. He ordered his usual black coffee and settled in his favorite table in the corner. Pulling out his laptop, he continued working on his story. He had a vague dream a few months ago about a ragtag group of teenage werewolves who fought other supernatural creatures who meant to do their town harm. Derek didn't know where this dream came from, but once he started writing the story practically wrote itself.

If anyone was to ask who his favorite character was he would have to say Stiles. He was the only human in the group and Derek admired his fierce loyalty and his bravery in the face of danger. Derek also enjoyed writing the sarcastic comments Stiles was known for among the group. If he had to be honest, Derek would have to admit that he was slowly falling for his fictional character. As he lay in bed at night his first thoughts would be that he wouldn't be good enough for Stiles, but he then reminded himself Stiles wasn't real and allowed himself to fantasize about what they would say if Stiles was real.

Derek would walk into the coffee shop and Stiles would be sitting by himself. Derek would walk over and ask if the seat across from him was taken. Stiles would blush and stammer out that no it wasn't taken. He and Stiles would talk and realize that they had a lot to talk about. Stiles would disagree with him with a snarky comment and Derek would come back with a witty line that would make Stiles smile. That would be the start of their love story.

Derek fell asleep with a smile on his face and the feeling of strong arms wrapped around him.

**_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_**

The gun felt heavy in his hand. His book was published three months ago and it became a New York Bestseller. Shouldn't he be happy? He asked himself as he stared at the small gun in his hand. 

It was a sudden purchase. Derek was walking down the street and saw a gun shop. He walked in and bought one and here he was. He never considered suicide until he sat down on the edge of the bed with the loaded gun in his hand.

He was a bestselling author. He had people asking to make his book into a movie. His publishers wanted him to write another book. All he felt was empty inside. It started the moment he typed the last period. The story was over. He no longer was going to spend hours exploring the lives of his beloved characters. He realized in that moment how much he would miss these fictional characters. Worse, he realized that he let himself be swept away by fantasy where these characters were his friends and family and was suddenly jarred back into reality where he was alone.

Tears started slipping down his face as he remembered the dream he had of the first time Stiles told him he loved him. His heart ached as he recalled that it never happened, Stiles isn't real. He felt pathetic for having to come to love a fictional character so much. He felt pathetic that the only people he cared for in the past year were fictional.

He was so alone. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He closed his eyes and slowly lifted the gun to his temple.

If anyone asked him why he put the gun down, his only answer would be that in that moment it felt like someone was in his arms crying for him to stop and he couldn't help but do what that voice pleaded.

**_Only hate the road when you’re missin' home_**

Derek was driving down the highway late at night. After his almost suicide he decided he needed to get away. He hopped into his car and started a road trip hoping that somehow somewhere he can find happiness. He's already hiked the Appalachian Trail, explored New Orleans, skied the mountains of Colorado, and visited the World's Largest Rubberband Ball. Now he was heading back to his roots of Beacon Hills wondering if the answers can be found there.

Maybe somewhere in the world there is a guy like Stiles. Someone who would love him despite all the wrongs in his life. Someone who would soothe away his nightmares. Someone who he could smile and laugh with. Someone who wouldn't take his shit. Someone to hold him and make him feel safe. Someone he could call home. Derek couldn't help but think that that kind of guy doesn't exist. 

Derek snapped out of his reverie when he saw a strange light further down the road. As he got closer it got brighter. Suddenly there was a high pitched screech and a flash. With a yelp, Derek clasped his ears and squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly there was nothing.

**_Only know you love her when you let her go_**

"Derek? Hey Derek, you with me?" a voice called to him from the dark. 

Derek's head was throbbing and his mouth felt dry. Slowly he lifted his heavy lids and saw honey-colored eyes staring at him with worry. They looked puffy as if they were crying. He took in the pale face dotted with a few moles. The tousled brown hair that Derek just wanted to run his hands through. The cute up-turned nose he wanted to give a kiss.

Derek looked around the room he was in and saw the sterile white walls and the machines hooked up to him. Why was he in the hospital?

"Derek? It's me Stiles. Please say something." the man, Stiles, pleaded.

Stiles? No it couldn't be. Stiles wasn't real. The last thing Derek remembered was driving in a car. Maybe he was in a crash. Maybe the drugs have him hallucinating.

"You aren't real. You can't be real." Derek said as he shook his head and scooted away from the man. He could feel the tears running down his face. As soon as the drugs wore off Stiles will disappear and Derek will be all alone again. He can't let himself be fooled by this apparition.

"No, it's me Derek. I'm here. I'm real." Stiles said grabbing Derek's hand and placing it on his heart. Just then the door opened and a man walked in startling the both of them.

"How's everything?" the man asked.

"He doesn't think I'm real Deaton. We killed the fairy that cast the spell. Shouldn't he be better now?" Stiles choked out around tears.

"Give him some time. The memories haven't come back yet."

What memories? What was Derek forgetting? He didn't think he was missing any parts of his life. He looked back at Stiles who was wiping his tears on his flannel sleeve. Stiles saw him staring and gave him a small smile. He tentatively grasped Derek's hand and gave him a reassuring stroke of his thumb.

"I'll wait with you until you remember." Stiles said with a squeeze of his hand.

Derek nodded and let his eyes drift close as the drugs reclaimed him.

_

Derek woke up sometime in the middle of the night to find Stiles asleep in a chair still holding his hand. The young man's face looked peaceful in sleep and Derek gave a small grin when he saw the drool sliding down his chin. This was exactly how Derek imagined Stiles to sleep. Derek ran his hand gently through Stiles hair and in that moment let himself believe that Stiles wasn't a hallucination. He thanked whatever higher beings there were for giving him Stiles and pledge he would let nothing happen to this slumbering young man. As he thought this, he felt a tickling sensation at the back of his brain.

_They were in the preserve. Scott had caught a strange scent when he was patrolling their borders. Looking for the source of the smell, his pack stumbled upon a troop of fairies . Fights started breaking out between his betas and the fairies. Derek had just tossed one into a tree when he turned and saw one about to attack Stiles with a spell from behind. Derek sprinted over and shoved Stiles out of the way and was hit. Everything went black._

Derek looked back down at Stiles' sleeping form and the memories washed over him. When Derek met Stiles and Scott. When he created his pack. All the adventures they had. The moments where he started falling for Stiles. When he left with Cora expecting never to return. When he realized he missed his pack to much to stay away. The tears and hugs and the party for his return. When he found the courage to ask Stiles out for coffee. All the fights and make ups he and Stiles went through. His pack spreading out when they went to college and gathered again when they graduated.

Tears streamed down his face as he watched the last five years of his life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing moments coming together. It was when he was trying to hold back his sobs that Stiles woke up. He immediately jumped onto the hospital bed and wrapped Derek in his arms.

"Shh, shh, hey big guy, it's alright shh." Stiles soothed as Derek hid his face in Stiles' neck.

"I remember. I remember." Derek sobbed out.

"Thank god." Stiles' whispered.

_

After they both finished crying, they laid on the small bed wrapped in each other. Derek had rested his head on Stiles' chest and was listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"What happened?" Stiles asked quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"When you were under that spell. We didn't know what kind of spell it was. You were out for four days. I was in here everyday and sometimes it seemed like you were having a nightmare." Stiles took a deep breath and gave a small cough, as if holding back tears, before continuing. "There was one point where Scott said you were giving up. You were going to just let go and leave me here without you." Stiles finished quietly.

Derek reached up and cupped his face. "I didn't know you. That was the spell. I remember coming to Beacon Hills and killing Peter, but I never met you and Scott. I went back to New York as soon as I could. I had a dream about you guys and made our adventures into a book, but none of it was real there. You were all figments of my imaginations." Derek could feel tears pricking at the back of his eyes as he continued. "I was so alone. I wanted you guys to be real. I wanted _you_ to be real most of all. I couldn't take it anymore and I almost killed myself. Somehow I must have heard you here pleading for me to stop because I did. You saved me Stiles and you can't understand how happy I am that you're here next to me. That I can touch you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. I love you Stiles."

Now they were both crying and Stiles gave him a small smile. "That was probably the longest speech you've said since we've met. I love you too sourwolf." Derek smiled back. Stiles leaned down and gave him a gentle kiss. Derek deepened it, kissing Stiles as if he was drowning and Stiles was air.

When they broke apart Derek rested his forehead on Stiles. "Hey I have something for you."

Stiles leaned back with wide eyes. "Really?! What?"

Derek grinned. "It's in my jeans pocket. I was meaning to give it to you before the fairies attacked."

Stiles hopped out of bed to search through the bag at the edge of Derek's bed that held his belongings. Stiles pulled out a velvet case and slowly straighted and looked at Derek.

"Come here." Derek dragged him into his lap with his front to Stiles' back and rested his chin on Stiles' shoulder. Reaching under Stiles' arms, Derek took the velvet case and opened it in front of Stiles revealing a golden band. "Marry me." he whispered into Stiles' ear. 

Stiles picked up the ring and Derek put it on his left ring finger. "Yes!" Stiles screamed turning to throw himself into Derek's arms.

"I love you." Derek said again. 

"And I love you." Derek closed his eyes and let those words and the warmth of Stiles in his arms surround him. He knows that he will never be alone again. Not when he had this perfect man by his side. With a smile he went back to sleep with his love curled by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and edits welcome :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
